I once saw something scary, and you all should be weary
That what I'm about to tell you is the honest motherfucking real truth
I saw this on my daily jog, a man fucking his dead dog
Now what then occured after that didn't really go over all that smooth

I only took a passing glance, but that's when he took his chance
He ran up to me with his dick flapping violently in the wind
He said "hey come over here, I'm not sure but I might be queer"
"I have a rather nice plan but by many it would be a nasty sin"

I was very much (afraid)
As his semen quickly (sprayed)
In his dog he fucking (flayed)
And with doggy junk he did play

He's most like Jeffrey (Dahmer)
To meet him is a real (bummer)
The dead dog stench of that (summer)
Made me never want to slumber

I was very much (afraid)
As his semen quickly (sprayed)
In his dog he fucking (flayed)
And with doggy junk he did play

This guy's really fucking (nuts)
He likes fucking mammal (butts)
With his lube of mammal (guts)
He grinned more and more each new thrust

He spoke, he talked, he spits, he shouts, all about his odd plight
He said "I'll tell, you more, the rest, if you give me a light"
He smoked, inhaled, held it, exhaled, and let out a loud cough
He stood, and took, a breath, then he, suddenly explained a lot

"Unsure of my (sexuality), I resort to (necrobeastiality)
It is quite (questionable), and maybe just a little bit overt
I openly admit that I like the feel, of my dead dog who's name is Bert
Though it's not just my dog (that I fuck), I've even screwed cows and possibly a duck!

"Oh god, oh no, no way, what the fuck? I'll call the cops!" I said
The man, he turned, he smiled, he laughed, and he gave his dog head
I went, and dialed, it rang, "hello?" "He's insane!" I was shrill
The cop, he came, I'm saved, BUT NO! This next bit made me ill

The cop then rolled up, in a small ford ranger
He said his greetings, then treated me as a stranger
He started to throw his clothes to the ground
The other man's ass he started to pound

I knew that this wasn't part of the procedure
Their ass fucking looked like a seizure
While this happened, I looked at his clothes
I read the nametag, and learned they were bros

I was very much afraid
As their semen quickly sprayed
In their dog they fucking flayed
And with doggy junk they did play

They're most like Jeffrey Dahmer
To meet them is a real bummer
The dead dog stench of that summer
Made me never want to slumber

I was very much afraid
As their semen quickly sprayed
In their dog they fucking flayed
And with doggy junk they did play

They are really fucking nuts
They like fucking mammal butts
With their lube of mammal guts
They grinned more and more each new thrust

I took it upon myself, to put this to an end
I grabbed the cop's hand gun, and shot em really dead
I took both of the bodies and carried em with me, then I decided that I'd hide them around the bend
Now this is a part that I can't quite explain but I also really can't complain, I got real horny and hoping everyone would ignore me I violently put my dick where they bled

(wait...WHAT!?)
So I shoved my dick in every orfice
(Dude no, what the fuck)
I wanted to cum, and this would suffice
(We can't continue this song...)
Then I grabbed the dog by it's scruff
(I'm serious, this actually has gone too far)
That dog's butthole was exactly enough
(There's something WRONG with you!)

*skit*

I was very much afraid
As your semen quickly sprayed
In their dog they fucking flayed
And with doggy junk you did play

*coughing and sputtering rest of lyrics*