I will conceive a child from inside my hairy scrote
Listen to my story, so we're on the same fuckin boat
I wanna be a mother and a father, even if it's wrong
Birth a baby from inside my balls, rather then my dong

My wife is the age of 85, and me a young man
To plant embryos in my nutsack, that was the plan
Shit from a science film is what you're gonna see
Elephantitis of my nads, would make most people heave

Modern medicine has allowed this to exist
Although most people say my balls are kinda like a cyst
My dick is like a twig and my balls are too big
They're like giant melons and they keep on swellin

The baby starts to kick
And I feel really sick
"Ethel I think it's time"
"It's early!" she starts to chime
"The baby's coming now!"
"It will come out, I don't care how!"
I thought this would be magical
Instead it turned out tragical

I went in the ward, and laid on a gurney
What happened next made me get an attourney
Old Doctor Lopez, told me this was simple
Before he finished, my balls popped like a pimple

I scream and moan as my nuts are blown
My baby drops as the skin just flops
My manhood dies as the infant cries
But something's wrong, the joy's not long

The child came out WRONG
It looks like my DONG
Also five left EARS
Antlers like a DEER

Oh god, why did this happen to us
Our child, will ride the special bus
Was it even alive? I poked it with a stick
Then I saw it's face, uglier than my dick

It was like a cross, of a bear and a duck
It also had some gills, and lots of facial hair
The nose was a beak, man what the holy fuck
I let out a bellow, my agony I hope you share

I went to file a lawsuit against Dr. Lopez soon after
However, there was no evidence of him ever existing
It was possible he had already fled the country
I was determined to find him and make him pay
I was left with a deformed and retarded child of unknown gender
I made it a custom-made helmet because a regular one wouldn’t fit
It must always wear a bib in order to catch all the drool
This has been my story and I hope you all take this seriously
This is not the end